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Want More From Someone? DO NOT Chase; Do THIS Instead!: summary

Want More From Someone? DO NOT Chase; Do THIS Instead!

Matthew Hussey · Feb 19, 2023 · about 14 min

Uploaded Feb 19, 2023 · 3.5M views (as of Oct 30, 2026)

Good value given

Trying harder can make the other person feel in control and make you more anxious.
He uses Mark Manson's story of Dave Mustaine and Pete Best to show that happiness depends on what you value.
Your confidence rests on many parts of your life, so one person shouldn't hold it all up.
Real confidence includes saying no to something you want when it isn't right for you.
Someone being more attractive or successful doesn't make your life less important.

What should you do instead of chasing someone?

Hussey says to double down on the rest of your life. When you meet someone exciting, it's tempting to drop friends, hobbies and goals to focus on them, but trying harder rarely makes someone more interested. He compares your confidence to a tabletop held up by legs: friends, family, passions and purpose. With strong legs, you can meet someone as an equal and walk away if they aren't giving you enough.

Worth watching?Good value given. A clear, healthy message about keeping your own life strong when you like someone. The last two minutes promote a paid event.

ActionableLessons

Actionable

List the 'legs' of your table and pick one to invest in this week.
Keep your plans with friends even when a new person is in the picture.
Ask yourself whether what this person gives you is enough.

Lessons

Chasing usually backfires.
A full life makes you a better partner.
You can walk away from something good that isn't right.

Quick answer

Matthew Hussey posted this video on Feb 19, 2023. Here's our summary in our own words: the answer to the title, a verdict, 5 takeaways, and Actionable and Lessons tabs.

What 125x is: 125x is a web app at 125x.app. You connect your YouTube subscriptions, and it gives you a feed of the latest videos from the channels you follow, each with a summary: a verdict, the 5 key takeaways, and the spoiler, plus Actionable and Lessons tabs with more tips. You read that and decide what's actually worth opening.

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Watch on YouTube: Want More From Someone? DO NOT Chase; Do THIS Instead!

Channel: Matthew Hussey. Published Feb 19, 2023. About 14 minutes.

His fix: the moment you feel yourself getting pulled in, put more time into your friends, hobbies and goals.

Quotes from the video

“real confidence is the ability to say no to things you do want when they're not right for you”
“any investment you make in yourself is an investment that pays off for the rest of your life”

A note on this summary

This page reports what the video says, in our own words. Quotes are copied word for word from the video's transcript. Views are as of Oct 30, 2026.

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FAQ: questions people ask

Why shouldn't you chase someone?

Hussey says it makes you anxious, shrinks the rest of your life and rarely makes them more interested.

What is the 'legs under the table' idea?

Your confidence is held up by many parts of your life, so no single person can knock it over.

Is the video worth watching?

Good value given. Short and useful.